These days more and more people decide to start a relationship with a co-worker. The reason why this happens is that many young professional men and women are spending almost all their time at the office, so they have less time to go out and meet new people. So, it is natural to seek friendship and companionship from colleagues.
But many times, this friendship transforms into a relationship that in most cases, fail. This is because there are many risks that make it very difficult to maintain the relationship. So if you decide to get into one;
There are some aspects that you should take into consideration:
-Before you ask your co-worker for a possible date, check if your company has an employee dating policy; the company may have strict rules about workplace romance; also think about how much you are wiling to risk your career for this relationship from the beginning
-If you didn’t ask her for a date already, and don’t know how to do it, you may organize a group outing or event and invite her; but if she refuses, you have to think of something else; suggest something like dinner or movie. Also, make sure that you know as much as you can about her; so develop an office relationship before you develop a romantic one
-You must think about what happens if your relationship doesn’t work; will you be able to handle the situation to see your co-worker every day, to interact with her daily? It may be very difficult to re-establish a professional demeanor with them after a break up.
-Avoid signs of affection in public such as hand holding, kissing, flirting; you’d better meet off-site for lunch or after work hours
-Remember that you have to maintain a professional image, so don’t let your relationship affect your performance; if your romance is affecting your work, you may be asked to end your relationship or to find another job
-A relationship like this can create problems in your promotion; the boss may see that you are more preoccupied by your partner than your work
-If you start a relationship with a co-worker it is better to keep it a secret; it will need a lot of discretion, energy and effort to keep your office romance just between you two; so don’t tell your colleagues about your romance because it may lead to one or the both of you losing your jobs.
-Also avoid sending electronic love messages or letters because some companies prohibit the use of company e-mails system for personal use, others reserves the right to access or disclose electronic messages or files of an employee
Workplace romance has a lot of restrictions so I suggest you to think carefully if you really want to get into this type of relationship and as I said, it has a lot of restrictions and may be very difficult to make it work. But, that does not mean it is impossible.
Date at Work, but Work at Dating: Office Romance Rules for Dating Co-Workers
So what exactly do I mean? If you’re like every other working woman (or man) who is dedicated and hard working, your commitment to work makes it nearly impossible to meet anyone outside of work. You’re probably not just a nine to five worker – you’re that successful someone who works extra hours and weekends, and is trying to get ahead to be successful. And you know what that makes you? Sexy!
Both men and women are attracted to people who are confident, passionate and focused, with interests and areas of expertise. Who wouldn’t be? Think about it-and there isn’t an easier, simpler or more convenient place to meet them than at work.
Date at Work – But Work at Dating
Even though it’s often advised against, dating people you work with makes practical sense – after all, we spend so much of our lives in the office, there’s often no other way or time to meet anyone else. But you have to be extra smart about your choices, and take special precautions if you’re going to venture into an office romance.
Water Cooler/Tea Time Gossip
The one overriding warning worth heeding–the one that should dictate all of your actions and words–is this: People will always talk. No matter how friendly your co-workers are, or how tight-lipped the object of your affection seems, secrets are almost always spilled, one way or another, whether accidentally or intentionally. So be VERY careful.
Translation? Say nothing and do nothing that you do not want everyone else to know about. This means no chit-chat with the girls at the water cooler or when having tea about his size or performance, and no pillow talk with him about how much you loathe your boss, and can’t wait to take over his or her job. There’s too much at stake, like your livelihood to take risks, and there’s too much to lose, like a potentially great love, not to give it a shot.
The Rules About Dating Co-Workers
- Don’t mix business and pleasure on company time. Agree to date out of work hours, but don’t turn a business lunch into a romantic lunch.
- If you’re a supervisor or employer you must stay fair. Don’t give someone you’re dating better work or pay, and don’t punish someone you’re breaking up with by giving him or her worse work or pay. Otherwise, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.
- Make sure he or she is actually single. If they’re not — then keep personal remarks at work limited to sports, the weather and the kids. Don’t gripe or listen to gripes about a spouse. “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable talking about your wife. I want to keep our relationship all business because I value us as co-workers,” is all you need to say and do.
- Don’t Boast. Your co-worker boyfriend or girlfriend may look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, and you may be so pumped up that you’ve got a hot date with the hottie — but keep your feelings to yourself — and your friends outside of work. Work gossip is inevitable, but you must practice good behavior by keeping the water cooler talk to work and the weather.
- Don’t Make Out At Work. Keep all affection outside of office parameters. It’s okay to meet at the office, but don’t smooch at the office.
- Don’t Have Love Spats At Work. If things weren’t great the night before, don’t bring your disappointment to your staff meetings — no pun intended. You will have to practice wearing two hats — even if you’re mad, don’t put the kabosh on their comments at the Monday morning meeting and act out your frustrations at work.
- Do Put Rumors To Rest. If you hear gossip, don’t fuel the fire by denying the truth. Everyone finds out that you’re dating eventually. While you should not announce your relationship, you can say, “Yes, we’re dating. We’re both single adults and we’re working very hard to keep our social life separate from our work life.” And smile.
Both dating and working are natural parts of life, and it’s natural to become attracted to people you work with. If you’re both single and available, go for it! But be impeccable with your behavior and your work. You’re going to be under more scrutiny in this relationship than you would be if you were dating someone you didn’t work with.
“I am a 29 year old single woman. I am very attracted to a man at work and would like to go out on a date with him. I only know him to say ‘Hello’ to and I have found out that he is single.”
Here’s my dating advice:
It’s not just letting him know you’re attracted to him or asking him out. It’s letting him know you’re attracted to him and asking him out with class, style and dignity while keeping your integrity intact. The last thing you want is for him to get the wrong impression. You don’t want him to think you’re cheap and you don’t want him to think you’re looking for a one night stand.
The first thing you want to do is let him know, in a nice way, you’re interested in him. Then he will either respond by encouraging the interaction or not respond and walk away.
An important dating tip: As an attractive woman, you know there is nothing worse than a man coming on to you when the feeling isn’t mutual. That’s how he will feel if he doesn’t share your interest.
Here’s how to let him know you’re interested in him using class, style and dignity: When you see him coming, stop what you’re doing. If you’re walking, stop. If you’re sitting, stop what you’re doing. Just stand or sit there calmly, wherever it is, and establish eye contact with him. Then smile and let him either walk up to you or walk by you.
An important dating tip about establishing eye contact: You don’t want to stare him down. Rather, you want to look at him until you get his attention. Once you have his attention, hold the eye contact a moment, then smile.
And an important dating tip about smiling at him: Don’t use a sexy, seductive smile. It gives him the wrong message. Rather, give him a nice, warm, friendly smile. A smile that says, “Hi. I know we don’t know each other. I’m attracted to you and I hope the feeling is mutual. If it is, let’s get to know each other better. If it isn’t, I respect that and will leave you alone.”
After you’ve established eye contact and smiled, if he keeps walking, at least you tried. If he stops, say hi to him and ask him what his name is. Try to start a casual conversation with him. If he has anything on the ball, he’ll know you’re attracted to him. If he’s interested in you and he’s a good prospect, he’ll encourage the conversation.
If you see him on a regular or semi regular basis, after you talk with him for a while, end the conversation without asking him out until you see him again. Then, when you see each other again, pick up the conversation where you left off. If he doesn’t ask you out and you think he’s interested say, “Maybe we could get together sometime for lunch.”
If he responds favorably, make plans to get together with him.
Workplace Romance Tips: The Best Inter-Office Memo To Remember
Like I mentioned earlier, for most young career people, they find themselves spending nearly 35% of their time at the workplace than at their respective homes. That accounts to almost 9 hours of work, work, and more work.
It is for this reason that most of the people involved in this kind of situation find themselves out of place in the social world because they simply do not have time to meet other people anymore. In fact, they do not even have time for themselves.
That is why it is not such an appalling revelation when some surveys showed how 67.8% of the respondents, all working but in different companies, are into relationship with their colleagues. This goes to show that because of the time constraint that most professionals have and because of the lack of sociable time that they need, most of them divert to the aspect of getting a romantic partner in the office instead.
Most of those who are involved in this kind of relationship contend that their workplace seemed to be a natural breeding ground for romantic couples since they are together for more than 40 hours within the week.
Also, they asserted that creating a relationship in the office is inevitable because most of them get along with each other well based on the premise that they revolve around the same environment that initiates common interests, beliefs, and backgrounds.
However, because of some professional etiquette around the office, some companies despise the idea of having their employees being involved with each other. The bosses believe that romantic and intimate relationships may bring about negligence on their respective jobs.
Moreover, certain flaws are seen on this kind of relationship. There is a higher probability that the couple might have a conflict of concern with regards to their respective duties in the office and their duties and responsibilities with each other.
Therefore, for those who cannot help but fall in love while doing monthly inventories, here is a list of some workplace romance tips to keep you out of the brink of disaster:
- Think first before deciding
Before deciding on this matter, it would be better to think first, probably a hundred…no make that a thousand times before deciding on it.
Try to contemplate on the possible consequences and benefits that you can get from the relationship. If the relationship will not work out, will you be ready to face the consequences?
- Evaluate each prospect
Establishing a worthwhile relationship with your colleagues should primarily be based on its being worthy for a date.
It would be better if you will evaluate on the upshots of dating the person based on his or her position in the company, its value, and the possible corollaries of the separation, if ever.
For instance, if you want to ask your colleague on a date, try to contemplate first on the issue of rivalry between you and your office-mate and the rough situation that both of you may be in after the breakup.
Also, try to look the possible angle of biasness for bosses dating their subordinates. The issue of “favoritism” may take place.
- Be smart
Keep in mind that the reason why God placed our minds above our hearts is for the mind to rule above all. So if you are suddenly being snooped with some seniority in the office, do not be deceived yet. Try to test this person for some reliability quizzes and put him more on hot water.
The point here is that if ever he is trying to establish a good romantic relationship with you, it is better to be assured that his intentions are for real and just because he is looking for some diversion in the office.
- Friendships as the best foundation
For a budding romantic relationship in the office, it is best to keep focused on creating friendships first. This is because some people believed that friendship, as the core foundation of any relationship, is better than just a break-from-work relationship.
Given all that, workplace romance can be really fun and dreamy. However, one or both of them should realize that office romances are not based on a contract that can expire when the time allotted has elapsed. It would be better to hear these kinds of relationships to last a lifetime, even if both of them have already retired from their jobs.